Integrity takes Courage--- Are you courageous enough to do what you say you would?

This time I will share a personal story on trust and integrity. During my engineering time, every year we would celebrate a college fest. In my 3^rd year of college, our department decided to create a replica of a refinery. Few of us were selected to work on the modelling part and how to design the equipment , what materials to use, what colours to use. My role was to perform a financial report on what would be the spent. All the core team members went through the plans, suggestions, requirements and I prepared a spent report and got a budget approved. We all were aligned to our discussions and had completely agreed to how we would be moving forward. The work started slowly and the team member who was responsible for the raw materials and equipment design thought of including two additional distillation columns. We had collectively decided to inform everyone of any changes in the plan, however this person felt that the decision of including additional distillation columns was for him to take. Additional raw materials were ordered and it did affect the budget . Finally we had to cut down on few other plans like prizes for planned activities during the fest to support this. Eventually the fest was a success, however this experience changed everyone’s perception about this person. Everyone started making their own assumptions why that happened, may be because it would add complexity to the design and the designer would get extra points for his creativity. We never spoke about what the actual reason was because none of us felt like approaching the person again. He had broken our trust. We forgot about all the good things we did together because of this one incident. That is the damage loss of trust does to your relationships.

Stop for a moment and think if someone has stopped approaching you , retrospect your actions to try and mend the broken threads of trust.

Trust underpins effective relationships. The more someone trusts a friend , colleague, manager or team member, the greater the likelihood they will co-operate, share information and work effectively together.

The secret sauce the drives trust are 3 key elements-

·       effective communication

·       integrity

·       decision making

Let me share my experience on why I believe these are the 3 key elements :

You would have faced situations when you had a conversation with someone and opened up honestly believing that the other person is also honest with you. You both discuss things and come to a conclusion . What happens when one of you does not share the right information during the conversation and you or the other person learns about it from a third person. There is a breach of trust, it impacts the future decision making .

However imagine if the situation turned up this way : You both spoke and discussed points which might not be good to hear but were bitter truths. You both come out of the conversation fully knowing the truth. A truth which might not be great to hear but gives you time to absorb it. When these truths result in actions in future, you already know that this was supposed to happen. This boosts your trust because the conversation helped both of you to prepare for the future even though it might not be the most favourable situation.

How many of us opt for the second scenario? Both of these are in our hands to control.  Majority of us chose the first option because it makes you feel good, it is easy to do . The second option although is the right thing to do, but requires courage.

Integrity requires courage. Courage is different from Bravery. Courage is the ability to confront something painful or difficult or dangerous despite any fear. It’s not a quality, but a choice; a person feels the fear or pain or danger, but chooses to persevere anyway. Unlike bravery, courage is driven by a cause; the courageous person believes that cause is worth standing up and fighting for, despite all the clear reasons not to.

Being courageous brings changes in your behaviour, it constantly draws numerous maps in your mind reminding you to do what you said you will do. It brings in integrity in your behaviour.

Behavioural integrity isn't grounded in what you believe is morally right or wrong -- after all, you may believe one thing, and say or do another. It's judged against the backdrop of your words, not unspoken values, standards, or principles. Behavioural integrity isn't doing what's right , but actually do what you say you'll do.

Why should you spend time in thinking about “ Integrity “ when you might have 10 different things to do ?

Because living a life of integrity means that we never have to spend time or energy questioning ourselves. When we listen to our hearts and do the right thing, life becomes simple. Our life, and our actions, are open for everyone to see, and we don't have to worry about hiding anything.